hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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