suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
