What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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