I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
