Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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