isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
No subtext here. People are naked.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
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Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
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Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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