she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?