**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?