bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
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Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
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Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street