I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.