Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
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The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire