Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
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She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
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The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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