Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
