is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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