UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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