in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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