Your tits are I can't wait for
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
