I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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