Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
