honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
