I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut