at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex