She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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