You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
