OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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