I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
