Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
whose parrot is this?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
