"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
