So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize