google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
