The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
