and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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