Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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