Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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