bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
