Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he thought i was a dude.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
