If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
