I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
