New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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