only you would photoshop your dick
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
