Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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