Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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