just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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