remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
