i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize