Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
