I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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