I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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