I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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