Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
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what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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