there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
