Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
