You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
her vagine was all disorganized.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
