If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
