I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
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Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
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I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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