conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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