OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
