I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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