So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
