im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
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I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
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I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
ok first of all what the fuck
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