Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
