We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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