I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
