If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
