It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
