We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
