question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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