I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
